Do your kids know the real value of easter?

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Easter weekend has been and gone and lots of people across the UK enjoyed a 4 day holiday. With the average household consuming nearly a kilogram of chocolate the many people will surely be looking to lose a few pounds in the run up to summer but my question to you is do your kids realize what Easter is about? Many I find just expect chocolate from the, ‘Easter Bunny’ a magical being introduced to fuel consumerism and not to celebrate Christ’s ascension. So what if you’re not religious? Well to be honest I am an atheist yet I still abide by Christian values and think it’s important to understand what others believe in even if I don’t do so myself.

Easter also spells the end of lent which for me is a great opportunity to give up something I love but deep down I hate. I actually gave up TV I sometimes found myself spending far too much time sitting in front of the television giving into apathy. Since giving it up the end of February and March has been a very productive month and I’ve increased my income two fold! So a massive family holiday is in order and the work train isn’t going to slow down anytime soon!

easter

I also read a very interesting book on psychology which had a warped perspective on the idea of giving a gift. Now usually I would advocate teaching kids the value of giving a gift but I saw too much truth in the matter that gift giving places a necessary reciprocal response and the act of thanking a gift giver actually takes out value from the gift. Looking back I have been on numerous occasions forced to give a gift because I received one. I’m sure thoughts like this will blow Tom’s mind so I won’t be telling him anytime soon but what are y

 

our thoughts on the matter?

 

Also I’d love to hear if your kids know about easter and what happened on each day?

Keeping your kids positive if you’re having relationship problems

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divorceandkidsA divorce is difficult enough for you and your spouse, but imagine how traumatic and stressful it can be for your kids. For kids, no matter their age, seeing their parents’ relationship in turmoil and their family being split apart is painful. All too often children get dragged into relationships and divorces – having to act as the peace keeper, the messenger, and the adult when you simply can’t cope with the stress – they end up carrying just as much guilt as you.

The effects of a divorce on children can be severe and last well into adulthood. To help mitigate the impact of your divorce there are several steps you and your partner can take.

Give positive reinforcement

Kids are very intuitive and know when we are sad and in pain or when something is not right. Despite trying to hide any turmoil, they know when there is a strained relationship. Instinctively, they may but the blame on themselves or question what they could have done to prevent the split. Reassure them that the separation is not their fault and that you still love them unconditionally. Let them know that although living situations may change, both parents will be there for support. While words can be reassuring, physical affection is even more comforting.

Don’t put your child in the middle

Relaying messages about court proceedings, delivering child support checks and is not a job for your children. No matter how little interaction you want to have with your soon-to-be ex, be an adult and take care of your errands. If kids feel as though you have dumped the load on them causes additional emotional stress and makes them think they have to negotiate the situation for you. Show your kids how to be a responsible and respectful adult, by doing what you need to do without getting angry or reverting to childish behaviour. In doing so, you will set a positive

Talk with your kids

Again, children are very understanding and compassionate. They respond well when they are told the truth and know that everything will work out in the end. Present a united front when explaining why you are getting a divorce. Agree on an explanation and decide how much information to reveal. Take the time to periodically talk with your kids about any changes in the divorce proceedings. When they ask questions, respond truthfully and give positive reassurance. Most importantly, ask them how they are feeling and tell them to be honest with you.

Seek professional advice

Sometimes, relationships are so irreparable and damaged, that professional guidance is necessary. Family law solicitors can give you sturdy divorce advice and help you agree on custody, set up child support and divide assets among other things. To address emotional stress, it’s often best to see a therapist. You and the kids can benefit from talking to a counselor. It will provide them a safe and non-judgmental environment and the encouragement they need to open up about their feelings and concerns.

The Best Type of Restaurants to Take Your Girlfriend on a First Date

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financially savvy

Before I begin, just remember that every couple is different, so not only should different couples have their first date at different restaurants, but every time you start a new relationship, you may not go the same type of place. That having been said, here are some first date restaurant suggestions and reasons you may make that choice.

If you want a nice romantic sit down meal to get the relationship off to the right start, it is tough to beat Italian food. There is usually something for everyone. Plus, I think most girls have seen Lady and the Tramp, and that makes Italian restaurants seem even more romantic, whether you share your pasta or not. You can order a bottle of wine, which often helps a first date go smoothly. You also learn a lot about a girl when she eats at an Italian restaurant. Does she know about wines? I’m no connoisseur, but if she passes on the wine or makes a comment about only drinking Arbor Mist, I know our tastes differ right away. Italian restaurants usually start with a salad. A girl who orders her dressing in the side probably likes things just so. Most of the meals will have a sauce. If she lays the napkin on her lap, I know she is careful, if she tucks her napkin into the top of her blouse, I start thinking about my dry cleaning bill.

If you are looking for a more casual atmosphere, you may just want to go out for pizza. It’s not as romantic, but it definitely sends an “I want to have fun while getting to know you” vibe. A girl who wants a night out on the town may object, but a girl who wants a good friendship out of the relationship may see it as a nice no pressure gesture.

I’ve heard some guys like to hit a barbeque place right away. I don’t know if I want to be tearing into ribs and cleaning up with a wet nap while I’m on a date, but seeing what your date does in that situation would definitely tell you a lot about her. This one isn’t as foolproof, so make sure she isn’t a vegetarian before you go. If she digs in even before you do, eats with her hands, and cleans up meticulously with the wet nap afterward, I think you may have found a winner. A girl who isn’t self conscious around you on the first date, but still cares enough to clean up, speaks volumes.

This can be a tough decision if you don’t know much about the girl yet. If you unaware of her eating habits or any food allergies she may have, it can be tough to make an informed decision. A mistake over something you didn’t know should be forgivable, and even correctable. If she can’t eat anything on the menu, you can excuse yourselves and move on. In general, however, these are a few standbys that can work for almost everyone.

The best places to eat in the capital

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I’m a bit of a self confessed foodie, I love to eat. You may have noticed in my last post I talk about being a fitness freak in order to save money. This is one of those do as I say not as I do scenarios. So moving on from that little confession I want to go through some of the best places to eat in our lovely capital London.

I’m always one for a bit of a quirky dining experience, my husband knows this and he surprised me by booking a table at a restaurant called la bodegra negra. Now this is situated in Soho which has a reputation that already precedes itself. The front of the restaurant is a sex shop, at first I was really apprehensive but then I calmed own and knew my husband was not going to take me to some underground sex dungeon without asking me first! Anyway once you get through the front you are in a fantastic mexican restaurant. I had the wild sea bass from the grill. Not very mexican I know but still amazing! Be sure to book well in advance because apparently the waiting list is really long!

closThe next place is a really romantic one in convent garden called the Clos Maggiore. It was voted the most romantic restaurant in London and it certainly lived up to the expectations. I recommend this for a post matinee dinner as it’s ideally located just a short walk from many of the west end shows. It’s worth mentioning that these are restaurants to go on special occasions as they are quite expensive and you want to dress up for them and really make an occasion of it!

We were seated in the conservatory room which is to die for and I sampled their 4 course menu and it was sublime. It changes quite frequently so I can’t tell you what’s on it at the moment!

So I’ve covered some of the more upper class places to eat what about a safe bet to go on any occasion. Well it has to be Bodeans, they have a restaurant in Soho and Shoreditch. It’s the ideal pig out spot and John and Tom love it. The food is gluttonous but tasty and and the service and atmosphere is a very friendly. No booking you’ve got to turn up and put your name on the list.

5 Frugal tips for everyone!

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savingsAn assortment of tips on how to be frugal in a world where the cost of living is spiralling out of control.

1) Always use coupons

I’m not sure how much TV you watch but i’m sure you’ve seen adverts for the coupon sites like wowcher and groupon? They essentially promote businesses by managing to convince them to give their referrals a discount. A very clever idea that works out for both the consumer and the business. I recommend signing up to these sites but being very careful to only use coupons to things they were going to do anyway. If you start using coupons to white water rafting you may get into a very expensive new hobby!

2) Start reusing household items

Don’t start recycling toilet paper or anything but lots of things you throw away can be used again. A classic example is tin foil, after you’ve used it to cook your chicken give it a careful rinse and make sure you don’t put any holes in it. Then put it back in the cupboard to be used when you next need to do some baking. Another slightly more extreme one is to use food wrapping for things such as sandwich bags. It does slightly disgust me how much packaging comes with food these days. Get some food bag clips and you can turn pretty much any of this packaging into a sandwich or lunchbox for the kids! Saving the world and your bank balance!

3) Buy in Bulk

It’s rare you don’t open my pantry to find 10kg of washing powder or 200 toilet rolls. If washing powder for instance reduces to half price then I will buy lots of it as I know no matter what i’m going to need it. The same can be said for all non perishable items! It will also come in very handy if there ever is a zombie apocalypse.

4) Get addicted to working out!

I’m sure getting addicted to anything is generally considered a bad thing but fitness is actually pretty good. It means you will be inclined to eat healthier and crave junk foods way less. This in turn boosts overall well being and saves you money as a chicken salad is much cheaper than buying lots of crisps, dips, cakes to graze on throughout the day.

5) Have a budget

This may seem like the most obvious thing in the world but too many people don’t have a budget set in place and they are content with just winging it and approximating how much they have to spend on living, bills, food and lifestyle each week. Get out your calculator and make a budget to stick to!

Want some ideas for a family holiday this summer?

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ideasforfamilyholidayAnother one of my loves is travel. When I had Tom I was devastated as I had to stop travelling as travelling with a baby is just a bit too stressful and still now while he’s still young we can’t venture too far afield. I think on a flight to Australia he might cause me to open the emergency door and jump out! Not to mention more people in the family mean’s a lot more money!

So here is some advice for mothers in the UK on places to go and visit in Europe. I’ve been to these places and had a fantastic time, please get in touch if you’re thinking of going away as I don’t want to brag but I have spent a lot of money travelling so don’t waste yours and use my experience.

My first favourite place to go is the west coast of France around southern Brittany down towards Lacanau Ocean. Camping is a great way to really bond with the kids and teach them about the outdoors. I can imagine some of you live in a city and teaching kids about nature is much more challenging than if you lived in a chalet in the alps. Keycamp do some great package deals and this is particularly good if you have young kids up to around 8 years old. You can get the ferry either from Plymouth or Dover and then have a 6-8 hour drive to the coast. You can then literally pack the kitchen sink in the back of the car. No weight restrictions and the tent, cooking equipment etc is already there.

You can of course decide to pitch your own tent this is cheaper but the next camping place I was going to suggest is much more suited for that.

Once the kids get a bit older then take them to the isles of scilly. You can pitch a tent on either Tresco or St Martins and you can give them lots of freedom as it’s one of the safest places in the world. As a kid I went there and still to this day get giddy going back to all the secret locations I found as a child. It’s very reasonable as well and the community on the islands welcome you with open arms.

For an all inclusive holiday I would recommend avoiding southern Spain. Instead try going to Malta. The country has an impressive infrastructure, something I admire (I am a nerd really) and also some fantastic beaches resorts and cuisine. It’s also very reasonable so I suggest you check out the deals you can get on a holiday there!

Why do people start blogging?

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bloggingBlogging has really taken off over the past few years, I started this blog because I loved reading all the other mothers blogs on their family life and what matters to them. It’s so nice to know that my family isn’t the only crazy one and that every family has it’s problems and crazy adventures.

I’ve wanted to start a blog for years but I was always aprehensive as to whether anyone would actually read my blog and enjoy it let alone interact with it (hint hint)

I’ve started this blog to express my feelings about what happens in family life. Just the other day Tom (my 5 year old) came in from the garden absolutely covered in mud and blood. Turns out he had tripped over and cut his shin but he didn’t come to the kitchen where I was cooking to ask for a plaster. He instead decided what I can only presume to have rolled around the lounge getting mud everywhere! I thought Rambo had broken into the house, I’m 99% sure he hadn’t copied the film because John (myhusband) would’nt dare show it to him!

I still strongly believe that bringing up kids is the hardest job in the world. A day doesn’t go by where I don’t have to sort out some kind of issue around the house. I’m always left to make sure the car tax is paid, the insurance renewed and all the credit cards are paid off at the end of each month and do some work on the side.

I run a business from home which is as I’m sure you have presumed my domain name is homeworkmum.com. It epitomises my life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Working from home has huge benefits and huge flaws. I miss the corporate environment and building business relationships in person as opposed to over the internet but if I still did that then I would miss out on Tom’s childhood and that would break my heart.

I’ve just noticed I’ve got completely sidetracked from my initial idea for the post, one of my flaws I admit.

I think blogging is in fact one of the best therapies. We all too often bottle up our emotions which do eat away and cause us pain which can lead I’m sure to illness. You can start a blog and be completely anonymous unlike how I’ve decided to make this blog! Then you can spill your heart out onto the page, it’s a modern day diary and in the blogging community you can find lots of support to make you stronger. This is fundamentally one of the most important reason so many people start blogging and I can say I’m one of them!